It made her look like a sunbeam and smelled like crayons, vanilla shampoo, and the faintest hint of peanut butter from school lunches. And now it was locked up in some evidence bag in a drawer I’d never see.
That morning, I sat at the kitchen table in Daniel’s oversized sweatshirt, hugging a mug of coffee I had already reheated twice. The mug said “Best Mom Ever” in colorful marker, a Mother’s Day gift from Lily.
I kept telling myself to drink the coffee, to do something normal, something human, but my hands wouldn’t move.
I hadn’t drunk from it since, but that morning, I needed something that still had her fingerprints on it.
And now it was locked up
in some evidence bag
in a drawer I’d never see.
Daniel was still asleep upstairs, breathing heavily the way he had since the accident. My poor husband hardly left bed anymore, and when he did, it was as if he were haunted.
I didn’t want to wake him. He barely slept through the night, tormented by guilt and nightmares I couldn’t soothe.
I didn’t have the strength to talk, so I just sat there, staring out the window into the fog that had settled over the quiet backyard.
Then I heard it.
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Then I heard it.
It came through the back door. At first, I ignored it. Our dog, Baxter, had always preferred the yard where he had a warm, insulated doghouse on the porch. He’d been Lily’s loyal sidekick since she was five — a golden retriever mix with eyes too smart for his own good.
Normally, he barked when he wanted to come in, or barked once or twice to let me know he wanted food or attention, but this wasn’t barking; it was clawing. It sounded frantic, desperate, and high-pitched.
It came through the back door.
So, I stood up slowly, heart ticking faster than usual. My nerves had been raw since the accident. I tiptoed toward the door, unease rising in my throat.
“Baxter?” I called softly.
The scratching stopped, but only for a second. Then he let out a single sharp bark — the kind he only used when something was wrong. I remembered it from the time he had found an injured rabbit. And again, when Lily fell from her bike and scraped her knees.
